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"What happens when you try to talk with him and try not to upset him?""For some reason, things are getting worse."Tabitha was trying to have control over Douglas not getting angry by explaining and giving herself up, but it wasn't working. Douglas was getting angry even more often."Tabitha, how Nike Free 3.0 V4 Womens Hot Punch Pink would you feel about learning to take care of yourself rather Nike Free Womens Hot Punch Pink than trying to control Douglas when he is angry?""I don't know how to do that.""Yes, I know. But would you be willing to learn? The problem is that both you and Douglas are trying to control each other, which will always cause many problems in relationships. This has been a pattern for you and it Nike Free Run 3 Mens Black Orange has never worked. Would Nike Free Run Pink Punch you be willing to learn a new way?""Yes! I don't want to lose this relationship. I really love Douglas and I know Nike Free 3.0 V4 Mens Blue Online he loves me, Nike Free Run 3 Womens Punch Pink so I will do whatever it takes to save this relationship." "The first thing you need to learn is how to become non reactive. As long as you are reacting to Douglas with your own controlling behavior, nothing will change. Being non reactive means that you don't get angry, you don't explain, you don't give yourself up. It means that you don't react at all that you completely disengage from the interaction as soon as Douglas gets angry. Disengaging is not the same as withdrawing. When you withdraw, you are closing your heart and probably blaming him. He Nike Free run Tiffany Blue will pick up the energy of your hurt or anger and react to it. "I am going to teach you a simple way of disengaging. If you practice this, you will find things changing rapidly. I call this, "singing your happy song." You find a simple little happy song that you like, such as "Zippity Do Dah" and you sing it silently in your mind as you walk away from any negative interaction. Singing your Nike Free 5.0+ Mens Blue Fluorescence Green happy song keeps you focused on something Nike Free Run Pink happy rather on your anger, hurt, fear, or anxiety. But you can do this only when you let go of trying to control and focus on taking care of yourself instead."
Activist Mustapa Mansor who studied in Syria 20 years ago went back recently to have a look and shares his views on the situation there.WHEN Mustapa Mansor was in Jordan for an NGO event for Palestine last month, he couldn't resist hopping across the border to strife ridden Syria for a few days to get a feel of the situation there.Syria is not new to the 49 year old Malaysian businessman who heads the international bureau of the NGO Malaysian Islamic Organisations Consultative Council Womens Nike Air Max Thea Purple (Mapim). Twenty years ago, Mustapa Nike Air Max 1 Mens Grey had gone to Damascus with his wife and young children and spent two years in the country studying Arabic and religion. Nike Air Max 1 Womens Green He has been back a number of times over the years.He even has a Syrian family there. His foster father is a medical doctor named Dr Khaled who spent 11 years in prison for Mens Nike Air Max 90 Grey White activism in the 1980s. He was jailed by then president Hafiz Al Assad, father to the present leader Bashar Al Assad. I met Dr Khaled in 1992, he told me about how they tortured him in prison and broke practically every bone in his body but he managed to survive. There were thousands of others in prison Nike Air Max 90 Womens Pink White with him, also jailed for their activism and politics. Some died and some went mad. His wife also spent a few years behind Mens Nike Air Max 2014 Blue bars, where she saw and heard other female prisoners being raped.Interestingly, Dr Khaled's son who is also a doctor Womens Nike Air Max pink is one of the young revolutionary leaders of the current uprising trying to oust Bashar from power, says Mustapa, who has been getting Mens Nike Air Max Thea Black information on the developments in Syria from activists who managed to Mens Nike Air Max 90 flee and are operating from outside the country.
While many see the Syrian uprising as being inspired by the revolutions in Tunisia, Egypt and Libya, Mustapa says that is just one factor. Many do not realise that with Syria, the roots go back to 1982, where an uprising against the ruling regime was brutally crushed by soldiers in what is known as the Massacre It left 40,000 to 70,000 people dead and another 100,000 expelled from the country.It is their children and grandchildren who have risen Blue Nike Air Max 2013 against the regime. They Black Nike Air Max 1 Mens want to avenge the deaths of their family members and the extraordinary pain they suffered over the last 30 years. is the reason why, despite Grey Mens Nike Air Max 95 so many being killed every day in Syria, the revolution which is more than a year old is still going strong. Even if tens of thousands more die, there is no turning Nike Air Max 90 Pink back. That is their promise, says Mustapa.Since the uprising against Bashar started in March 2011, more than 12,000 people have died, according to the Syrian Observatory for Human Rights. (The Egyptian revolution to oust President 2014 Nike Air Max Black Hosni Nike Air Max 90 Hyperfuse Red Mubarak resulted in 841 deaths; the Tunisian uprising to bring down President Zine Nike Air Max 1 Black El Abidine Ben Ali cost 338 lives while in Libya, between 30,000 and 50,000 people died trying to force out President Muammar Gaddafi.) Mustapa, who visits the Middle East often because of his NGO work, was on the Asia Caravan to Gaza programme to break the siege on Gaza in January 2011 (two months before the beginning of the Syrian revolution). Their delegation Green Nike Air Max 95 of 120 was welcomed into Syria as of the government and stayed there for two weeks.He says he went by his foster father's house but found it all locked up and calls went unanswered.In Syria, says Mustapa, it is hard to seek information about a person's whereabouts because it is risky as there are government spies everywhere and one Red Nike Air Max 90 never knows whom to trust.
I was living in Damascus from 1992 to 1994, students used to come over to my house. In the morning, there would be men sleeping outside my house. Womens Nike Free Pink They pretended to be mad but we knew they were government spies to monitor who was going in and out of the house. So we always had to be on guard everywhere when speaking to people about their government.Syrians also told me that if they run into a friend whom Nike Free Run Pink they have not seen for some time, they would be careful about what they say in case the person has become a spy, Mustapa relates. According Mens Nike Free 3.0 V4 Reflect Silver to Mustapa, the Malaysian embassy in Jordan had advised him against making UK Womens Nike Free 3.0 V4 Pink Punch the trip to Syria last month but because of his affection for the country, he decided to give it a shot.have a business partner in Syria and I was concerned about him. I wanted to UK Nike Free Tiffany Blue see how he was doing, he says.At the border crossing Nike Free Run Green UK which is about a two hour drive from Amman, the Jordanian capital, the immigration officers tried to ignore his group of three at first, he Womens Nike Free Run Pink Punch UK says. But when they wouldn't leave, they were asked to explain why they wanted to Nike Free 5.0+ Mens Orange Sale enter Syria. told Nike Free Running Neon Pink the immigration officer that if Syrians want to visit Malaysia, we would give them the visa and don't ask them why, he says, adding that they were subsequently issued the visa and their small overnight bags were checked before they were allowed in. They had left their laptops and more expensive mobile phones in Jordan in case these were confiscated and brought cheap mobile phones instead.